Hellooo anyone still alive over here?

 Hey guuuuys 😊

Very very long time no seeeeeee… but i actually have to tell you i´ve got so so many things going on in my head i just do not know how to tell them all to ya 😊

First let me see when my last blogpost has been written now nearly exactly 3!!!!! Years ago… wow i really can´t believe it is such a long time ago but okay here we goooooo.. 

 

Like the biggest NEWS first (as i do not want to make this an endless spot): My little Baby girl Mira Ruby is born one day before i turned 30. She is my everything. Nevertheless she looks like her dad as everyone says she is such a cutie and my hair stylist for example told her customers that she ist he prettiest baby she has ever seen *_* OMG feeling so honoured hahah 😊

No i never expected one day getting a mum as my whole life for over 10 years now was dominated by Miss Mager. But the last 5 years being with my boyfriend i learned that more and more other things became important. No more focussing on food. I really gained strength by going to the gym with him and developed a more normal and common style of eating. Can i say that? Well maybe it may still be kind of influenced by my ED, but i eat kind of most of my fear foods every day and telling this the ANGE of 2014 she would never believe me…. I totally enjoy chocolate again, cookies, pudding, meat and also put sugar in my coffee sometimes :S Yeah, i may never can tell i am not eating disordered but i look like a normal woman going out with her little girl and who is so proud of what she regained again 😊 A life, happiness, real laughters and not so much thinking what other people think of me 😉

I often see it like this: I am responsible for the life of my little Mira and i want that she never ever has to deal with the same problems i had…. So i do my very best of making her become a strong girl!!! 

Could you ever imagine that? The Nutella Blogger girl is the mum of Mira….?!! 

I do not have any therapy anymore and i feel so much free to enjoy my life the way it is… and i am so thankful for this. I moved away from the city i used to live in a little village and i am living now here with my boyfriend and my daugther near my parents. They are the people who always supported me no matter how hard the last years were… I am so thankful they now feel so much happiness in spending time with my little girl. 

My blog helped my a lot in my recovery and i am so thankful for having it. I am definitively NOT the same person i was at the beginning here and i had to go through so many harmful phases the last years…. Like clinic, therapeutical living group, day clinic ….. So to everyone who is struggling, keeep going  :0 And for me writing my thoughts down is a really good way for dealing with the negative thoughts… so you may also give it a try? Many therapists in my clinic wanted me to give up on my blog because they thought i would get in touch with the wrong kind of people who also struggle and try to bring me down as well.. but actually that never was the case. Some true friends i met here on my blog for the first time and hey i know reached 128.000 views :) thats sooo crazy :) Thank you all for reading my blog