So first of all i hope you all are still well-being and not sick or ill... in times like these i think people mostly realize that the most important thing for a long and happy life is really health!!!!! what happens these days truly seems so unbelievable and surreal i can´t tell you how strange and unfamiliar the world feels for me right now... and for sure you know what i am talking about: CORONA ....
wow at first i thought what a hype... and not realizing how serious it actually is... i don´t know how it is at your country right now at the moment, but we here in Germany, especially i can talk from Bavaria right now, have an exit restriction.. which means we need to hold a space between each other of more than 1,5 meter but still not going out at all, except supermarkets, doctors and pharmacies.... now from next monday on we will also have the advice to wear face masks in supermarket and public transport.. this feels so strange like everyone would be toxic or poisonous.. So and as well many of you may also be clinged at home in home office as well.. for me and myself i need to say i am kind of really glad to still go to work in my tax office... of course with a lot of space in between each other ;)
But i also was at home because of an laryngitis..and nearly me and my eating disorder really got into many differences and difficulties as well... being stuck at home alone felt like a personal confrontation with my ED again...because being home made me eat more and more because i also was bored as hell and felt shocked when i realized i gained weight and my trousers for the FIRST time in my ed did not fit any more i flipped out... my parents also are keen on keeping the 1,5 meters distance and so i only had my boyfriend as a escape route and a distancing from those negative thoughts and my self hate... For sure my parents also supported me as good as they could but i felt so clinged in betweeen the new me and miss m.... she really was loud as fuck
But i moved on... the only magic word for this is ACCEPTANCE.. you can choose to not accept it and will try against it but in the end you realize this is like walking in quicksand... there is no way out ... i need to accept it that being underweight is not normal and can´t be accepted any day in my life... again...
And i also can imagine many of those persons with mental problems had hard times in these days...especially because easter came and it all did not really felt like any celebration at all :S So happy easter by the way also ;)
So a big big applause to all of you who kept their heads up and dealt with the new situation in the best way.. you know there are ups and downs and the voices are loud and sometimes you don´t hear them.. but each day the sun rises and you will be fine...
