SORRY ;) such a big word, isn´t it?

Goood evening Honeys ;)

Sooooo it´s Friday *_* yaaaay 
Today I thought about writing a little post of why saying sorry is such a hard word... I mean of course just speaking it out, isn´t such a difficult act, but TRULY meaning and feeling it from your inside is another chapter out here....
But what does it really mean to apologize for something or feel regret for something....So for sure it contains many chapters....

S  sadness, shame, sorrow, speaking out, speechless, 
O opening, ongoing, organizing, 
R replying, repentance, risk, repeating, redo
R ruining, recreating, rationalize, release, reasoning,
Y yearn, yeah, yabber

So you guys see, sometimes it is easier to really describe what sorry means, but sometimes it really can be difficult and hard to find the right words for it ;) because for example the words with an "y" do not really make any sense right? ;) :D
Sorry for all this rambling.... :)
Sorry can nearly be used for so many occasions ;) the more complicated ones, like in a relationship or with something very important, but also in our common daily communication... :) 
The actual intention of this post should be me, saying SORRY to all my beloved ones... For all I and my ED did to all of you and how much I ruined.........
I only am getting quite actually aware of how much confusion and damage all of this caused and now it is on to me to say sorry for it....But in my opinion there is no apology expressing enough.... So our every-day word sorry may not fit, right? :) 
But for now, it is all I have and all I can say.......
Sorry for all I did......

HAPPINESS IS....

ALOHAAAA ;) 
How are you my Angels? ;) 

Do you all know the internet page HAPPINESS IS....? ;) Oh I can tell you, if you haven't been there on Facebook or Instagram you really should do it, because it is sooooooooo cuuuute *_* 
They always draw such lovely and adorable simple pics and title them with something quite ordinary or nothing special, but which actually truly means happiness ;) And they are so right: There are so many many things in our daily life which we should appreciate much more, but we do not do it because we take them for granted ;) But as I also learned now: Nothing in life is granted ;) So I also decided to search for myself for things which I should appreciate much more or which mean happiness in a actually quite simple way ;)

HAPPINESS IS ...

ü     Leaving all the negatives behind you, Cuddles with your cat, A wonderful chat with your sister, Appreciating being at home after a long time leave, Spending time with your family, Being at the beach, A cabrio drive, The helping hand of your mom, Listening to the waves and smelling the sea, Being stronger than your biggest enemy, The constant trust and support of your dad, Keeping to your plan and being proud of it, A holiday travel, Staying up late, Being true to yourself, A beautiful smile from someone you love, Having fun with friends, A way of life. Working for your goals, Seeing someone after a long time, Receiving a compliment, A smile from a person you love, Real friends who care, Shopping, Testing something new, NUTELLA- LOADS OF NUTELLA, Looking at old photos and revelling nice memories, An adventure together, True love, Dancing stupidely to a great song, A cat which sits on your lap, Chatting with someone special, Doing what you want, Summer days, Waking up with a warm feeling inside, Being excited, Enjoying your job, Living for the moment, Walking in high heels, Not being banned by an illness, Cake whenever I want it, Getting a hug for no reason, Letting go of the things that weigh you down, Watching the sun go down, No worries, Presents from loved ones, Camping and being free, Something unexpected, Glitter in everyday life, Bird chipping, Seeing the results of your efforts, Having a drink, Finally being yourself again, Feeling sand between your toes, Making new contacts, Feeling accepted.....

    Soooooo yeah you are right, there are many of it isn´t it? ;) YES and we definitively should very more often look at them in our life, especially by times we feel quite down ;) 

A Poem .... :)

Dear Hunnnnnnnys ;)

I really thought long and deeply about this, because I am totally uncertain about what you will think about it.... ;) 

So the thing is, in the last few weeks I wrote a poem by myself, and I don´t really know how it sounds, like good, bad, corny, funny, boring, .... But now I decided, even if you think it isn´t that great, I still wanna publish it on here, as it has a very metaphorical meaning for me ;) All in all it simply meant much to me writing it down and I hope you maybe like it a little wee bit ;) 

On the beach in the fairy land,

there is god out holding your hand!

Never leaving you alone, 

sitting next to you on his throne!

Walking and talking about forever,

he always pretends never is no space!

You still have to believe in all his trust, 

so you can feel relief from all the must!

Searching for shells and stones, 

reaching the stars,

shine bright like those tiny beams above,

no one seems to dim your ray!

Breathe in and slowly out

release all the burden you carry!

Look up to the moon and remember 

a year only lasts till december!

I wish you all a wonderful evening now ;) You all mean the world to me, thanks for being here! ;) xxx <3

Why family and friends are the biggest support you ever will be able to have ;)

Heheee my Cutiepiiiies ;) 

So let me hear you say YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! :-* Because the Nutella Girl is home again ;) After 5 long months in the clinic I am back in my hometown ;) (for all of you who don´t know it: it is small but still in a confusing way cute ;)) because I think all of you know: Your home is and always will be your home !!! 
So what is my current mood: I am so happy to be home and it feels like such a relief at the moment ;) Feels a bit like flying......
Aaaaaaaaaaw and if you guys have a look at the picture on top ;) you can see my birthday presents from my family ;) And I had such a lovely lovely day, I truly can tell you ;) I and my mammy took the train to Ulm and went shopping there ;) It was such a great feeling and I absolutely enjoyed myself ;) and then in the evening they surprised me ;) my sister organized a surprising party just for me ;) I never would have expected or guessed it ;) so many of my friends came and I had so much fun ;) So by this I come back to the actual topic of my post ;) 
So this is for all of you who struggle: Never stay alone with your problems!!! 
I know it can be so embarrassing and awkward feeling telling someone about your struggles or stupid thoughts, but this is the only way you can receive any help and make a step in the RIGHT direction!! ;) So what I wanna say with this is: Many many people still don´t have trust in me that I can make it out of this devilish circle, but with the help of my family and my beloved friends all makes so much more sense and this helps me coping with so many negative things ;) like for example if I struggle with anything, I now know if I tell someone about my problem they can/will help me to distract myself from it or try to understand my feelings ;) and not being alone with my problem may helps me to prevent it the next time it probably would happen ;) 

Okaaaaaay maybe I again babbled so much, but I think this is one of the most important things if you really want to become yourself again ;) 

Love u all so much and have a lovely week ;) xxxxxxxx <3