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Sunday, November 20, 2016

Loosing some things in life whilst gaining new experiences :)

Heeeeeey my Daaaaarlings ;) 

Maaaany things happening over here and it is nearly aa little little bit complicated to pack all of these in words and especially in a blogpost :DD 

Okay so on the one hand I absolutely have to admit, that three or four weeks ago I absolutely struggled a lot :S so why? Because I simply felt overwhelmed of how many other things could bother or stress me at the same time, whilst I actually thought that my ed is my main problem ;) But in these days it felt like my behavior was becoming worse again, just because I tried to focus my life more on other things than eating, food, gaining, ..... It was like, i maybe describe it like this: I ranked my ed down in a smaller corner of my mind and it felt like it would rebel out of it :) Do you understand what I mean? I just wanted to focus my life more on personal relationships, being social again, learning for my first few tests of school, being active at work, and and and... And the result was: I first felt confident and great about it, because it felt like it would be easier to deal with Miss Mager, but the first illusion deceived :S It just went good as long as i wasn't stressed, like somebody wanted something from me which I didn't want or I was forced to do something I didn´t like.....
This made me somehow panic and just like the imagination of a little, defiantly child my ed wants attention again and i feel bad and insecure as a result of it!!!! Even though i am sooooo happy in my "everyday life" and my private progression :) Sounds so strange right?;) 
It somehow feels like this ill part/piece of me simply does not want to be forgotten, missed out or wants attention when i feel good and won´t let me be happy ... Kinda hard and i feel like this is so unfair and i truly wanna get rid of this part :S it confuses me so much :) 

Buuut I also think all of this confusedness comes by the fact that I currently feel like constantly pimped up with so much energy and happiness about my life at the moment ;) and as a result of that I feel confused :) Because all in all i couldn't be happier:) all things are developing in the right direction, I am back on track again and I have so many wonderful people around me having so much fun with them and spending a great time ;) So thanks to all of you ;) most of those I mean by saying this may never read this blog, buuuut to those of you, yeeeeeeees I know exactly you will be reading this,, because you currently are doing it hahaa ;) what a logic :D THANKS for being here for me ;) I love u to the moon and back :)
SOOOOOO and this is the "Wort zum Sonntag" -> word for sunday ;) 

Sending you all the best and muuuch love xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Reeeeeeaching 30.000 views, autumny days and a new month ;)

What a beautiful morning ;) Why can´t we start each day with such a wonderful quote? ;) 

Soooo heeeeeey my Sweeties ;) 

ALL OF YOU ;) OMG I have to tell you something which makes me so so unbelievably happy and i already counted the views down towards it :) MY LITTLE CUTE TINY COSY BLOD "How Nutella saved my Life" reeeeached 30.000 views!!!! *_* Wow, this just feels so stunning and unreal for me :D Thanks so much everybody who ever stopped by and all the lovely people I was allowed to get to know through blogging so far! Yes I mean you and you and everyone of you who is currently reading these lines!!!!!! 
Because for me my blog is kind of a collection of all of my thoughts, ups and downs and everything i survived in the last years.... It is like a album of good and bad moments and many amazing people i met through it ;) And like i already mentioned in one of my earlier posts for me this still is so stunning from where you all are from ;) 

But now moving on in this post ;) It became so much "Herbst" (=autumn) in the last weeks, which i normally actually not prefer, but when the sun shines, the world appears soooo beautiful ;) all the different colors of the fallen and still hanging leaves makes it look so stunning, pretty and unique ;) I collected some of the fallen ones and arranged them a little on our kitchen table which somehow made me happy, as well as we had 3 soooo cute small hedgehogs in our garden *_* awww they were so lovely ;) hopefully they will survive through the cold winter ;) Also my mammy and i did a last trip with our cabrio this year to take some nice fotos from the landscape all around here ;) Just to share some with you: ;) 

Another thing i again learned in the last days/weeks, is that everyday you can start again and nothing is lost by doing a mistake, as long as you don´t let it happen too much often ;) always still believe in yourself and never forget how beautiful and various the world is and so are you ;) 
Now a new month has started and here in Germany it is a public holiday today called "Allerheiligen" so I wish you all a good start in this 11th month of 2016 ;) unbelievable isn´t it? 
Sending you many love and i am so thankful for having you ;) xxxxxxxx Ange