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Saturday, March 25, 2017

One year agooooo ;) wow can´t believe it ;)

Goood morning  and haaaappy weekend my sweethearts :) <3

Yeeeeeeeah the week is nearly finished ;) haha at least the working part of it ;) 
First cabrio tour of 2017 *_*
I had a little more short week than normally, because i was sick two of the days because i had such back and all in all aches all over from my shoulders down my spine :S I felt so whacked all the week and so i missed one day of school and work, because i felt like i couldn´t really make it without getting too stressed over it :) 
So do you have any plans for the weekend? 
Here in Germany i hooope so much (but the chances may bee good :)) that spring settles in a bit :) Like all the beautiful little spring flowers come out and the suuuuun also shines on some days *_* Aw i am so in love with the lovely weather :) this is something which influences my mood soooo (often too) much ;) haha i am so much better at days when the sun is out and i feel like relaxed, calm, happy and glaaaad ;) 

RED again and not caring what others think ;)
Hell yeeeeeeeees :D 
Sooo now a short update ;) On the 23rd of march,  it exactly was a year i was released from the clinic :) WOW it feels so amazing for me that it is now 1 YEAR !!!! I can´t really believe how much has changed since then ;) Like in myself and all the people around me ;) I am so much happier now and looking back makes me feel so sentimental ;) because how many things happened and what experiences i made, made me the person i am now ;) And this makes me as happy as i could even be ;) Going through some hard, though times leaves its mark on a person, but each scratch makes me more unique and strong ;) like a battle wound which hurts so much, but after going through it, you will be proud that you survived! And this is how it kinda feels for me ;) 
I hope you know what i ttry to tell by this ;) each mistake, illness, hard time in life always will reveal a lesson for you, you maybe never wanna make again and this is how it shapes you to become the person you are ;) and i also love the quote: When life gets hard, remind yourself diamonds are made under pressure!!!!!

So never stay at one point stuck in your life, move on, forget, forgive, love again and never get stuck in the past ;) this is the wrong direction ;)
This is truly what i am also trying to do now: Being free and do stuff i wanna do, no matter what others could talk about ;)
So last weekend me and my sis were at an amazing concert of a well-known DJ, you also know Felix Jaehn? It was just a stunning atmosphere and we truly enjoyed ourselves ;) also got drunk and still trying to keep this euphoria of such evenings up and be myself ;) 

So much about me now ;) I hope you are all fine and having a wonderful, saturday morning ;) and a great weekend;) any special plans for next week? ;) 
Haha my only plan is getting older  ;) My birthday is coming up.... ;) 
xxxxxxxxxx <3
Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Calm down, relaaaax.. :) Life is coooool

HUhuuuuu huuuns ;) and all my buns :) 

How are you? It is the middle of the week and i am a bit powerless already puuuuh :) don´t exactly know why but feeling a bit dizzy since yesterday and i hope this will paaaass ;) staying optimistic ;) because on the weekend i am going to a big big concert ;) *_* Felix Jaehn is coming to Augsburg ;) hehe and guess who was a ticket ????? -><-

So one thing i also realized today is (One thing is: I am a very aggressive car driver :D haha) that something i truly have to work on is calming down and not being over the point as soon as i get a little stressed or under pressure ;S because i am so much like from 0 to 180 in one second or something ;) this exactly happens for example on my way to work ;) I nearly start from home on time (maybe already a few seconds late) but then i have like 100 slow trucks in front of me or which is rather as annoying as a truck a car which never drives in the normal allowed speed ;) they seem like they wanna win an award as the slowest people on the street ever :D haha i am too sarcastic now, i am sorry, but today i was in a bit of a hurry and i really went in such an aggressive mood because all people driving so slow and damn in a slow queue :( I really had to calm down afterwards :( I know this sounds like a really stupid problem, but for me this makes me feel stressed :( and i know the only way becoming less aggressive is getting started earlier for less time problems :( but this is something i am so bad at managing :( haha time management is not my strong point :DDD

This also is in many parts of my life a challenge for me: Time management and general management and organization itself :S

But more about this topic in the next post ;) I am now going to watch the "Bachelor" (haha you guys know this dating show in your country as well? ;)) soooo stupid but funny to watch :D wish you all a wonderful night now ;) xxxxxxxxxx 

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Overthinking and routine kills.... :)

Huhhuuuuuuuuu my Sweetnuts ;)
I know the topic sounds not very happy, springily and flowery, but actually it just features this blog post which i wanted to write since aaaages very well ;) 
Just a few short updateeeees about life right now ;) 
it of course needed to be pink ;) haha :D 

Sooo carnival is now over and i maaaade many many great new experiences, met many new cool people and simply had a fuuuuun and amazing time ;) which i really didn´t expect at all, because i never was such a carnival person, but it was so nice *_* 
Aaaaaaand so i had no school this week, but also work ;) but today i took the day off simply all in all for ME and went shopping to Augsburg ;) the weather was so lovely and warm so i went into the Annastra├če and did some clothes and present shopping ;) AAAnd relatively spontaneous i decided to go to the piercer and maaaade a belly piercing ;) Hahaa :D this was something i was so unsure, but now i gooooot it ;) Heeeeell yes ;) Sorry i am a bit euphoric right now ;) last evening and today i am doing now absolutely nothing, because after last week the end dash of carnival and friday night out i am so tiiiiired haha ;S 

So now back again to my post intention ;) 
Something which i sooo often always realize again and again: Having some routine of course is necessary for every-day life but it especially if you have some tendency for any kind of addictions caaan be dangerous :S For me this always shows in the smallest little things which can suddenly make me feel confused in any situation :S Like for example, since i started working and also at any day in the week my eating times vary so so much that it really became unimportant for me, which at my worst time was like a succession of rituals and processions :( Oh this was so horrible thinking only about food each day and it became a habit and a routine :( it became worse and worse day by day if you don´t break through it and change something ;) so on the weekend i stand up later and make my breakfast also later and at working days i eat my bread for lunch and the warm meal for dinner :) so this simply varies and i lost the kind of ritual thing for it ;) So keep varying also the smallest things so that there is no chance of it becoming too strict for you ;) 

Also another thing i wanted to write about such a long time ago is my tendency of overthinking really EVERYTHING :) It kinda is like if i am/was having a great time and i totally enjoyed myself afterwards i pass every little detail again and again in my head and paraphrase like 1000 things into it .... of course: negative ones and i think i made this and that wrong again :( I hate this, because i know when i made it i was feeling so great and also mostly confident and sure about it :S So this truly makes me insecure afterwards and unhappy so this is a real problem for me, because i am such a person who enjoys something with her heart if she feels for it ;) but if i don´t feel comfortable i also immediately start asking myself what decisions i took were wrong or why i am feeling not good right where i am :( puuuuh a little bit confusing right? =) 
Haha so i better head up to bed right now ;S But i hope you somehow understood what i wanted to tell you about :) all going on in my head :S :D 
So i wish you a wonderful night now and a great start into the new week ;) hopefully it will be a good one ;) Lots of looove xxxx