Mooooootivation on :) How to get out of a dark episode and negative thoughts :)

Hellooooo again my loves ;) and not loved ones maybe as well :DDD

Nutella as well always helps
;)

According to my actual mood (in which i definitively would need some shining moments or maybe only some shooting stars to wish for something ) I thought about writing a post of how to motivate again in daily life and how to deal with some dark episodes... Like for example suffering from depression, being lovesick, a loss of a beloved person or it could also just be stress you hardly can deal with... 
This at all is such a difficult question that there is no right or suitable answer for everybody, because each one of us acts different when it comes to sorrow or stress... like i know, some people eat when they are sad or down whereas others just restrict and could not eat anything because of a lump in their throat as we say in Germany :S 

But those things are just the side effects of such dark days... no solution... eating or not eating is NO solution<! DO NOT COMPENSATE YOUR SORROW... i swear surpressing those negative feelings will let them grow... one thing i for sure learned in therapy is that feelings have their right to BE there!!! Maybe you sometimes do not even understand why, but your body subconscious knows what is right in such a situation.. Like for example if you have been left by your boyfriend and you may think "What a fucking a****" and you are so angry about him so you just wanna throw everything around... just stop and feel it... is this the feeling you truly have? 
Just think about it... when i experienced this feeling i did also act so angry and in a rage and then when time went on, just like 2 weeks later(!) i felt such a deeeeeeeep deep grief and sorrow i only wanted to cry it all out.. yeah my body was sad and i had to let it out... and after this and talking about the whole thing my mind truly started to close this chapter of my life and i moved on.... so much more relieved and free now ;) And i always keep this in my mind: It is no shame being sad about something and admitting that you are hurt.. it only is human and letting it out will prevent you from such mental illnesses like depression, burnout or maybe also an eating disorder... who knows?!
So and now? Crying it out and you are better? For sure you know this does not work to 100%.. but then how to keep on going? Not falling into a deep dark hole in the ground...

My ideas are just ideas, no solutions which may work for everyone, okay? Yeah so for the first thing to get out of it, i would consider not staying alone with it.. Just chat to someone, meet up friends, go out and distract yourself from the cloud of negative thoughts which ghosts around in your head... Me for example helps this the most, because me being alone with those mean thoughts: i mostly end up crying again...So i went on a burger date with some girls from the clinic last week ;) It was such a wonderful reunion and we had sooo much to talk about which absolutely made my problems in this moment much less important ;) Thanks my girls xoxoxo

It is so beautiful where i live ;) 

Then something else would be going out into the nature and simply try to inhale it and see the beauty itself.. yeah and also taking a little walk can help so much,.... there some happiness emotions show up and you immediately will be out of your thoughts...


Another idea of me would be CHANGE ;) Well yeah what the hell? I think if you close a chapter in your life it may also be time for an external change in appearance  :) SO to come back what i mean: Change your haircolor or fo and make a piercing, just like me yesterday (hehe the one on the right is new ;)) It may hurt a little bit or will be unfamiliar at first, but this shows you are strong and you move on.. NO more negativities, focus on the positive of your look ;) Because you look great!

PUuuh so i think for now these are enough suggestions for you of how to overcome such dark and negative episodes of your life ;) If you want i can continue with this list in one of my next posts as well ;) Just let me know ;) there are so many more possibilities :D 
Wish you now a wonderful sunday evening my beeees ;) <3 <3 

Is the recovery of my ED still such a big part of my life?

Huhuuuuuuu my owls ;) ;) 

Recently i have been asked by a friend which i know now for quiet a long time, wether my recovery is actually still such a massive massive part of each day? Hmmm.. wow this truly made me think a little bit about it :S 

To be honest with you guys, i would say: YES ... it still is... i mean you just have to remember that eating is an everyday thing, you just not could stop it for a while just because you maybe had a bad one or negative feelings... you have to cling to being honest with yourself every f*** day... i sometimes would say :S because yeah for sure i know what i need to eat, but for sure you also know that eating is related to your own feelings... maybe you feel streessed and need a little extra food or you are sick or may feel down or something and you absolutely are not hungry.. you know? 
So this is something i truly have to deal hard with sometimes... especially now since i am working (since this week i am having 6 hours a day :) i recognize that i am so extra extra hungry.. even though i am only sitting in front of my pc, i notice that mental work also is so exhausting and even though my mind tells me not to have more food, i know that i have to give in and have that little bit extra :S 
And by doing this i again checked how important it is to weight enough and not give back into that disordered thoughts.. And i am still aware that i still have to gain some kilos and i also can tell you guys that this is kind of not an easy thing to do next to having a life and not being isolated and Miss M... This is it what i actually wanted to tell you with this post: I wanna have a life, but right noow i also need to gain and combinating this hand by hand is hard work.. getting to a point where i feel free to eat truly what i want and how much...  (also not connected to my mood, health or stress)r Hopefully one day i will reach this point, but i think i am not giving up and try to keep my mood and positivity up ;) this is all i can do for the moment and keep strictly to all my meals and food.. not forgetting the challenging ones and all my recovery stuff i learned in the last 1,5 years :)

So also keep your heads up you sweeties ;) wish you all the best now and a wonderful night sleep ;) And may you all be a little bit more gangster ;) *just putting a crown on your head *