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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

People come and people go, but memories stay forever :) and important people stay :)

Huhuuuuuu my christmas angels *_* 

Only 10 days until christmas, is this even possible? AAAAAAH :D and still so many many things to do and arrange :S or is it different for you? :) Foor me now it means it is now time for the final dash of the year 2016 :) On Facebook I recently saw a pic: 
In English this means:Unbelievable to see who you started and who you
finish your year with :)

I think this one is so right: Maybe you just also take a look back to the beginning of your year :) who was there at this time for you? :) For me this really is kind of amazing, because at the beginning of 2016 i was a fall apart, shy, embittered, lonely, lost girl, who was celebrating New Year´s Eve with some other sick patients in a clinic battling against my eating disorder... I was just a small, shrunken shadow of myself :S I feel so shameful, bbad and sorry for all of this and the things I have done to my beloved ones.... :( 
But not only I was different, just like the quote says: who was there for me? Puh this is easily countable at one or two hands :) many people left in my life through the illness, because they couldn´t handle the coldness and sickness of me being Miss Mager in a full-time job :S I really felt somehow left alone and all I had was my wonderful wonderful amazing family ;) They are truly the world and anchor for me :) They (next to Nutella :D haha saved my life =)) 

Looking back now, I feel this loneliness so much ... But so this is why I am so confused for so many moments right now:( maybe this is hard to explain, but I sometimes/very often can´t deal with my inner happiness, relaxation, and the people who truly seem to like me :) the real Ange ;) without Miss Mager speaking out of her :) For me this is like a wonder, that people wanna spend time with me and welcome me at their surroundings and friends ;) Maybe you know this feeling? ;) I am somehow soo overwhelmed by the love and of many people, because in the past i had to deal so much with the hate and the rejection of a lot of people ;) Oh damn, this is so hard to form in words ;) All in all I just wanna say thank you so much for making me see the change in your faces ;) And even if i know that I still have such a long and even confusing way in front of me, I still look back with patience and now for the first time i want to share with you a picture where I wish and hope you can see a little change i made in this whole year 2016 ;) I feel a little bit unsure about this, but i think the end of this year may be an option of sharing it with you ;) :S 
The left one i took today at work and the right one was at the clinic at the end of 2015 :S 


Puuuuh i am sorry again for such a confusing post ;) but here is so much going on in my head and I simply enjoy sharing it all with you my shining ones :) *_* 
Wish you now a wonderful, cosy and enjoyable evening ;) I am still need to learn a little bit for my exam in tax advice on friday ;) but thereby i will listen to christmas songs :) *_* Love u xxxxxxxxxxx :-*

2 comments:

  1. You are magnificent! Your transformation is a miracle given to you by the angels and all of your hard work. You have blossomed like the most beautiful flower and I couldn't be prouder of you! Keep thriving Ange, you've got all the power. Massive hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    1. Ohhhh Annie you are such an angeeeel ;) Wow thanks a million for this motivating, lovely comment ;) reading this made my day honey :) I am so thankful for always counting on you ;) Keep going ;) Lots of love xxxxxx

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