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So now I think it is time to give u a real update about my current situation, as I think I neglected this a little bit too much in the last time...... :S I am so sorry about that ;)
Okaaaaay this isn´t very easy for me to tell, but since yesterday I am at an inpatient treatment center which specially has been designed for eating disorders :) It does not at all look like a hospital or something like this, but it is for me to gain some more weight, as I wasn´t able now to do this at home :( I was on this long waiting list since June this year and last week I finally got the call that I can get in :) I at first was so shocked and as you all probably know getting inpatient was the last thing I ever wanted or intended as the right thing :( but now I know this only was the thing which the "Miss Mager part of myself" didn´t want to :S
And I honestly must say it is kind of amazing and shocking at the same time of how eating the portion sizes here feels :S It all is kind of more hectic and faster, but truly was able to manage yesterday evening dinner and today breakfast :) OMG *_* this is so confusing for me, as I never ever ate such big sizes of bread at home :( And the most stunning part, which I never expected as it really is, is the atmosphere with the other people and the nice girls on my ward :) they truly support each other by cheering up and such stuff :) Oh I am so overwhelmed by so many many new impressions and changes which are going on here :) I am so curious about how things are going on now, but I truly hope it was the right decision of going here :)
My room is quite nice here and the surrounding is very pretty as well ;) doesn´t really makes the appearance of a hospital at all :) this makes it a lot easier :)
I am so nervous about all the different rules and the stuff I don´t know yet, but I hope now the only way is up ;) let´s beat Miss Mager once for all time ;) never go back ;)
Wish you all a lovely lovely evening now and enjoy life, it definitively will be worth it ;) but at first I have to heal in order to live/love/laugh again ;) believe me being underweight isn´t fun at all...... :S
xxx
You are so brave to take this step Ange
ReplyDeleteI know it's not easy going in to treatment
But sometimes we need that extra support
I would say to you to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity
Use the staff
The supports
The groups
The other girls
The professionals
Use them all as much as you can
I can tell from reading your blog that you are so optimistic
And that is great
I wish every success and happiness
Take care of you
And really concentrate on yourself while you are there
It's the opportunity of a lifetime x
Wow Ruby thaaaaaaaanks so so much *_* this is so motivating for me to hear :)
DeleteI think you are so so right by saying this, because I now already notice how much this community here helps me to get away from Miss Mager and my bad behaviors step by step ;)
All the other girls really pull me along with them in some way ;) you know what I mean?
Thanks so much again for believing in me, this means a lot to me :) <3 xxx
I am so incredibely happy for you and proud of you Ange. Accepting that you need some help to gain weight is so brave and this makes you a wonderful inspiration to us all. Just think of this as the start of your future without miss Mager.no matter what happens and no matter how difficult things may seem, just remember that it is all worth it if you get to live a recovered life in the end. Sending lots of love,
ReplyDeleteKarly xxxx
Awwwwww <3 thank you so much Karly :-* this means so much to me :) this is so true :) it is a completely new start and the chance of a lifetime :) if I am not getting healthy here, so where does this illness lead? NOWHERE :) so I truly have to fight for my life here ;)
DeleteLots and lots of love baaack xxx <3
The only way is definitely up dear Ange. Always thinking of you and sending loads of love and hugs from your Welsh girlie xxxxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteOoooh so lovely Annie :) just as always you brighten up my day :) haha :D
DeleteLots of loooove back from your German gaaaaal <3 xxx
Die Schön Klinik soll wirklich gut sein :) nutz die Zeit dort so gut es geht :) ein wirklich wichtiger Tipp: sprich auf jeden Fall über Strategien ubd ambulante Betreuung nach der Klinik. Sonst gehts schnell wieder in die andere Richtung (sag ich aus Erfahrung). Klinik kann einen super auffangen und der Schritt ist sehr mutig. Du wirst fürs Leben lernen! :)
ReplyDeleteHey Anna ;) vielen viiiiiielen lieben Dank ;) hab mich so über deinen Kommentar gefreut :) Dankeee auch für den super Tipp!! :) ich glaub auch, dass ist echt wichtig jetzt, dass ich erst einmal gesund werde und das auch für die Zukunft dann weiterhin umsetzen lernen kann :) DANKE :-*
DeleteWarst du auch in einer Schön Klinik? ;)
xxxx <3
Ich war nicht in einer schön klinik, aber die haben ja schon alle ähnliche konzepte! :) was ist denn dein zielgewicht und wie viel fehlt bis dahin?
ReplyDeleteIch drücke dir alle daumen und wünsche dir viel durchhalte vermögen