MY STORY GOES ON.... :D

Haaaaai my honeybees :) 

I wanna go on with my story a little bit, if you are interested :) 

I think I stopped at the point in February 2013 when I and my family decided to start this diet called Metabolic Balance. (At first I intended to describe how it works, so that you can imagine what I actually changed in my eating and lifestyle, but then I decided not to do this, because I don't want to promote any form of a diet and explain how to do it :( 
So I decided to change this post again: 
The only thing you need to understand is, that keeping to a certain meal plan is not good, and radicalizing it, just as I did it, isn´t neither...... it is killing......

Soooo as a result of this in the ongoing year, I wanted to follow the intention of finally loosing some weight....and it really worked... :( UNFORTUNATELY 

I can tell you at first it felt so weird eating according to a given meal plan, which this stupid diet suggested:( I felt so trapped and it was strange, but time by time it went normal and I felt such a huge excitement and interest in preparing food and experiencing new combinations and food:) You can nearly call it an obsession :) but in general, weight loss went steadily and smoothly, so not too fast :) 

I got so many compliments at first and I really enjoyed living such a "healthy lifestyle" and have everyday the decision of what I want to eat and not only getting it served ;) Haha here you again can see it: I needed to take control :( 

I enjoyed so many things at that time, it was the year of my life :(

Just in case you wonder what this is: This is me(on the right) and
my ex-BF fooling around and just having fun
enjoying our free time after our Abi :D

2013:

I went 18 and had a great party, I did my abi (graduation), I went with some of my girls to Ibiza, I did THE America/USA west coast tour with my family, I received the commitment, that I can study the subject I wanted to at the uni I wanted to, I went to Ireland, I started university and had such a typical student life, celebrated many festivities and had an amazing year,..........

But something inside was absolutely going in the wrong direction, without me even noticing and realizing it.....

Some people already told me things like, oh come on, eat that cake or try this piece of food, but I always became more radical in cutting off sweets, pleasures and cheats out of my eating. I mean, they didn´t appear on my meal plan and so why allowing them to myself? I became so much focused on the scale and the wish always eating less than everybody else, that I totally forgot about what would have been normal or healthy at all....

I restricted and refused more and more and unfortunately I started cheating....

Cheating, cheating and cheating, all of the time....

I always wanted less........ 

No matter what I had to do for this, I needed to loose more and more weight and not letting anyone tell me I was wrong... 
Hurt so many many people and behaved as a stranger and crazily addicted person...

THE BEGINNING OF A VICIOUS CIRCLE.....
Which endured and became more worse in 2014

More I will write in my next post, but I don´t want to bore you with too much text here :D 

I hope now you don´t think bad about me in any form for my behaviors, but I never wanted this, I promise, it felt like it just slipped all out of my hands :(
Wish you a lovely lovely afternoon now my Sweeties, I love u 
xxx