My 20th Biiiiiiiiiiiirthday ;)

Oh yeeeees the Nutella-girl turns 20!!!!!!!!! *_*

Getting older and celebrating another upcoming year always makes me getting kind of very emotional :) According to this I think I am a very sensitive person, who on the one hand feels very special on her special day, but on the other side it always makes me sad to leave all the experiences I made in the last year behind me..... But this year it somehow was a little bit different, because I don´t really remember the last year, in which I have been 19teen with good memories, so I am actually not very sad it is over and I celebrate a new beginning in my 20tees :) OMG I am already 20 :) such an old gal now :D hiihhiiiii but if it probably means I will get wiser I of course will take it up ;) haha :) 

No honestly guys, I really want to get rid of this at all :) it should be a new beginning now again :) 
And I also can tell you I maybe feel different, I can´t really put it in words right now, but I am optimistic I will be able to be a normal girl again who does her studies, has a healthy weight, loves going out with friends, does sports, enjoys food and simply enjoys LIFE itself :)

According to this and because I promised my mum I will try to eat MY birthday cake (which I could choose and she made it for me =)) So I wished for a raspberry-coco- creamcake :) *_* 
and we also had a "Donauwelle" (which is sort of a pound cake with cherries inside, a layer of buttercream and chocolate on top -> inside the dark and the bright cake batter are mixed into each other to create swirl effects *_*) and a "Bienenstich" (which consists of a sweet yeast dough with a baked on topping of caramelized almonds and filled with vanilla or caramel custard *_*), because we invited my whole family (Grandma, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, Neighbours, some friends for coffee and cake in the afternoon ;) 
So at first when I saw the cakes I was a bit worried if I could be able to eat them without any problems or anxiety, buuut hey it was my birthday and they were made for me, sooo come on :) I definitively wanted to do it ;) And I am so haaaaaappy to tell you I did try all of them ;) Omg, haven´t eaten any of them for ages and I felt like in cake food heaven *_* 

I felt so thankful for all the people who celebrated this special day with me, I really was able to enjoy it so much without my ED and Miss Mager by my side :) it really was such a nice day for me ;) 
Uiiiiiii and I nearly forgot : hihiiiii my birthday presents *_* 
I already got one a week ago, I made another piercing in my right ear ;) I really wanted this so much and it didn´t even hurt as much as I thought it would :) aaaand I also of course got some money, and some sparkling wine and hugo, a perfume, a voucher for going to a thermal pool with a friend, some clothing's, and such a lovely bracelet and earrings hahaa and alsooo a jar of Nutella with my name on it :D 

Having some mantra :)

I know I can eat, I just have to do it ................
I know I can recover, I just have to do it...........
I know I can eat without cheating, I just have to do it.........
I know I will be able to live a happy and free life, I just have to do it......
I know I can gain weight, I just have to do it.....
I know I am strong enough to try out my fear foods, I just have to do it.....

I know now that if I just do all of these things and let recovery happen I finally will be the free me again !!
I just keep on repeating these things in my head like a mantra which helps me staying on track without giving up or making steps back =) I WANT TO RECOVER no matter who tells me I can´t or what happens :) this is my decision and I will do it :) 

I WILL 
I WILL 
I WILL

Hope you are all doing well my lovely honey cake horses :-* hihiiii ;) 
OMG so excited for my birthday tomorrooooooooow =) *_*

Best moments of my life :)

SUNDAYSUNDAYSUNDAYSUNDAYSUNDAY
but unfortunately without sun :(......
But nevertheless loose your positivity!!!

This was my motto yesterday and today!

Sooo after a few very very lovely sunny spring days here in Germany, it today is rather more cloudy and not shiny :) but no matter what, I try to brighten up my day by doing a blog challenge with my favorite blogger gaaaaals again: 
Remembering some of the best moments of my life so far may pushes your moooooood, wherever you live and what weather there is as well ;) 

• Our America trip in 2013: this trip to the West Coast of the USA with my family was one of the best experiences in my whole life :) All the stunning and huuuuge landscape with those unbelievably amazing cities like San Franciso, Los Angeles, Las Vegas and San Diego ;) also the National Parks and the hot weather =) really a magical atmosphere everywhere we went *_* :) I feel so sorry this time is over, but I experienced so many life-changing things, that I am so thankful for this :) So I can only recommend to everyone of you guys to try it out=) 
  
  
  
• All of our holiday trips in our mobil home I would say were some of the best moments of my life ;) I am probably only nearly 20 years old (in exactly one week there is my biiiiiiiiiiirthday =)) but I am so thankful to my parents that they already showed me so much of this beautiful world :) especially Europe of course, but they made me some absolute travel addict :) so each year we visited in one of our various mobile homes a certain country and visited so many sights, beaches, castles, cities, cute little villages, scenic roads, nature beauty, tours,..... ;) some special experiences were for example: (I hope this does´t bores you, but it is so fun for me at the moment remembering them all, that I simply can´t stop :): 

-Ireland: visiting my family (which lives there near Sligo in the west), driving old, little small roads down, seeing stunning cliffs, beaches, stealing land signs (hahaa:D), going into supermarkets there (I love doing this in every country =)) 

- Italy: in all sorts of different visits: camping with our mobil home for example at Lake Garda or in Limone or in Meran ;) also we spent a holiday at the beach and enjoy the relaxed southern mentality of the people and their calmed down mediterranean lifestyle :) 

- Portugal: I have been here three times, because as I already mentioned my relatives live in Lisbon and I looooove this city ;) It really has a unique atmosphere with the cable cars and the river and the southern style houses ;) shopping here is also great and I love the beaches too ;)

This is inside our camper ;)
on the road again

- Great Britaiiiiiiiiin: Scotland, Wales, England, Northern Ireland: I absolutely so much fell in love with these island :) the people, the nature, the lifestyle, all so magical for me and it has so many different perspectives :) on the one hand cute little small wrinkled towns and villages or cities near the seaside with soooo lovely little gift shops and on the same way you paaass stunning nature views ;) like cliffs, small roads, green fields, the seaside, old ruins, ..... really every holiday I was there (and believe me, me and my family visited this isle very often =)) I already discovered so many new amaaaazing things there and I honestly can´t get enough of it :) 

-Sweden and Norway: we went here in 2006 and 2007 and both times we loved it very much: the kind of a little bit rough nature with the cute houses and stunning look and view points ;) 

-France: in 2009 we did a "Castles-of-the-Loire-Valley" tour and had a great and interesting look in many of those romantic castles along the banks of the Loire ;) 

• The day I received the opportunity to study teaching for primary schools :) I remember this one so clearly: We were in the US and the internet wasn´t working properly/rarely on this cute small camping area we were ;) If you wanted network connection, you had to walk to the toilet house and sit on the bench in front of it =) so it was in the morning and when I received the email I jumped up and run down to our camper :) my parents glancing at me with tears in their eyes and I simply was so unbelievably happy :) New things to coooome... ;)
• To not getting this post into enormous length: Other great/probably not best, but wonderful moments of my life (which I really appreciate=) could be: returning home after being away and recuddling all of our animals, enjoying an evening outside in a warm summer night, going to the pool in summer, christmas time, meeting my friends after not seeing them a longer time, having some cocktails, getting in contact with new people and having fun with them, kissing, hugging or cuddling somebody, going to a party, not worrying about so many things, remembering the time when I was little ;) 

The best moment in my life I am now looking sooosoooo much forward will be the moment I finally will be declared healthy from my ED and behave like a very normal girl again ;) I wish for this so much :)

xxx 

A letter for the Nutella Giiiiiiiiiiiirliiiiiie ;)

Huhuuuuu my lovelies ;)
Toooday I wanted to thaaaank some people because I thought I have now the perfect occasion for it :

At the beginning of this week, a cuuute little broooown letter flattered into my letter box at hooome :) Omg I absolutely immediately knew who it was from, because it directly came from theeee wonderful lovely Green Isle *_*
I already was looking so much for it with excitement, because Emmy already announced it in one of her messaaaaages :) Oh you all know now from who it was sent: Emmy :-*

My hot-chocolate loving blogger friiiiiiiiend from Ireland :) It was such a heart- warming <3 feeling getting something so personal from someone, you may never met, but feel like you already know him/her for ages :) By opening it, I really got stunned: about 10 (!!!!!) pages carefully handwritten :) soooo cute hun, thaaaaank you so much for this present :) I immediately started reading it and it was like I would know her like one of my best friends really :) I felt happy and sad at the same time, because she writes such personal things which honestly touched me :) Aaaaaand besides she draw such cuuute little paintings :) absolutely gorgeeeeous =) <3

My favorite label with the cute letter in front of it :)

And by reading this letter, I again became aware of the fact why recovery, REAL recovery is so worth it and definitively needed for happiness ;) I don´t want to be a prisoner of my own body or being inprisoned in hospital :( I want to be the real funny, normal, happy, healthy, smiling girl Ange, who is able to enjoy her summer again by doing things like swimming, diving, climbing, inline skating, sun bathing without getting glanced all the time, all this stuuuuff :) probably also go on vacation again and spending time with my beeeeeloved :)
I also wanted to say thank you again in this post to my parents and also my sis, for never giving up on me and motivating me day by day again to keep on my recovery :) I don´t know where I would be now without them and I am so thankful they spend so much energy in supporting me, so that I will never be able to give all of this love back to them :) They are so amazing people and you can´t believe what they are worth for me:)

And last but not leeeaaaaaast of course I want to thank all of youuuu who read my blog and alsoooo probably leave a comment on it ;) you always push my mood so hard and I feel like I would know you so gooood ;) maybe we´ll meet one day? :) hihiiii
Wish you all now a loooovely wonderful sunny weekend :-*
xxx

Favorite things challenge A-Z :-*

So hereeeeee it finally is: My favorite things challenge from A-Z :) joining my loveeeeely blogger friends from all over the wooooorld :) LOVE U ALL SO MUCH :-*

A cting like the real and honest Ange and not like this fucking bitch Miss Mager

Amaaaazing beach in Ireland :-*

B obble, my little fat caaaaat :D, the Beach, Blogging, Bacardi Breezer

C uddles aaaaaaand hugs from special beloooooved persons, Cooking, Chilling, Childhood Memories, Cats, Chatting with some special persons and friends from all over the world, *_*, Chocolate (espeeeeeeeeecially the Milka ones =)) you definitively have to try it :)

D riiiiiiiiiiiiiving (especially my Mini of course*_*), Drinking (also alcohoool, but only
    sometimes =)), 

E ating :( I know this sounds weird hearing this one of the person with an eating disorder, 
   but I definitively always enjoyed eating and food so much, before it actually became a fear 
   to me ;) I always had the intention of it being as delightful as possible and this was one 
   of the weird reason why I slipped into these awful thoughts :( 

F amily & Friends absolutely mean the world to me :) I am so thankful and blessed by your    

This was my christmaspresent for my family:
A collage with all of our fav pics ;)
in the shape of a heart <3

   support ;) belieeeeeeeeeve me <3

G iggling

H ot showers, Hearts

I  reland, Italy

J okes 

K isses, Kiddies (I teach in schooooool ;)) 

L ooking at old family pictures, which let
   me remember about our happy daaays
   and amaaaaaazing trips we did

Morning suuun walking out the door at home *_*

   together ;), Laughing

M orniiiiing sun, Making someone proud or happy, Mars bars, 

N UTELLA (hahaa of course right? =)

O penness ;) don´t know if this word actually exists, but I love it when a person is open to 
    new exciting things and isn´t afraid of trying them out ;) 

P resents: I absolutely love to give a present to    someone to share some happiness, but I 
   (of course *hihiiii*) enjooooooooy receiving them ;) it isn´t at all about the big things ;) even 
   just the little moment of being surprised and happy makes me smile :), Parties 



Q uotes which inspire and motivate me =) I can absolutely assure you reading such quotes 
 in your recovery is so much needed and I can only recommend it to you =) 


R ainbows :) always remind me to a very special one :) and it shows me again how beautiful     
   our whole world actually really is :) it also always puts me mentally to my favorite place on 
   earth: the Green Isle *_*

S miling, Sunbathing, Sunsets, Shoes, Shopping, Smiling, Sleeping out on Saturdays

T ravelling the wooooorld : as you probably already discovered I love going on holidays ;) 
    and visiting and discovering new places ;), Tattoos, 

U sa, Unique Moments in life you can´t relive twice :)

V acation ;) I mean who does´t love it? ;)

W atching TV, 

X sorry but I really don´t imagine any of my favorite things to be with an X.... :) any ideas? =)

Y ou, my deeeeearly readers :) your support always pushes me and whenever I look at the 
   views of my page each single one makes me smile so much :) so helloooo and welcome 
   to my blog :) 

Z waaaaanzig ( which means 20 in german ;)) this is the age I am geeeetting soooon ;) 
   Hahaaa actually this does not make so much sense, but I can´t find a better word :)

Okaaaaay Sweeties, I know this is kind of an "I put all together in one" post, but I simply could´t decide for only one thing :) there are so many things in life, we should be blessed for and we should be able to resist the mean voice of Miss Mager to live them :) otherwise she takes them away from us and we won´t ever live what we really intend to :) 
Soooooo I am very excited and curious for your ideas and your favorite things in life :) so feel free and happy to share them ;) I would be so curious as well as what you think of mine :-*
Love u all so much

A-Z favorite things challenge and how is it going for me :)

Hellooooooooouuuu my Sweeties *_* 
Thaaanks again for all the lovely comments on my last entrieeeees :) thoooose really made my day :) 

So how are you doing? I am doing gooooooooood, especially now springtime slowly arrives here in Germany and the sun cooomes out sometimes :) Oh and I absolutely love the smell which is in the air, just such a fresh and energizing breeze *_* 
My arm is definitively getting better day by day and I am now already able to move it sooo good that I nearly can´t believe it :) but nevertheless I am starting with physiotherapy todaaaay :) excited how it will beeee :) 
Of course I still practice to force myself with new things and eating bigger sizes =) especially for lunch ;) this isn´t so easy, but I keep my recovery rolliiiiiiiiiiiiing =) I want to go to the pool in summer and enjoy traveling :) I can´t stay the way I am and I refuse to stop at climbing the hill! :) 

At the weekend I felt like kind of a normal girl again, went out to two different clubs and definitively had very much fun at dancing and drinking :) so yesterday evening I was so tired :) felt asleep at 10 I think :) And toooday I had to make a lesson in school in my 4th grade class :) so me and the other girl who does her stage there had to introduuuuce the kiddies in how to write a ghost story :) It definitively wasn´t as easy as I thought, but it went well and some answers of the kids really made me laugh so much :) 

Now I will continue my studies for writing my term paper for another subject from uni about inclusion ;) 
Buuuuut with this post I actually wanted to announce my now following A-Z favorite things challenge which I will do with Emmy from http://ganache-elf.blogspot.ie :) Check out her lovely blog, it is so much worth reading it, because I rarely met such an honest and sweet person as she is :) She is my special little hot-chocolate-loving friend from Ireland :) Maybe Olivia (my special lovely friend from CA)  you also want to take part at it? :) AAAAAAAAnd of course (and I would definitively love it =)) everybody else should take part toooooo ;) I would be so glad if you would do too :) Soo starting as soon as I find the time :)
Wish you all a good new week with lots of new hooooope :) 
xxx

Get to know me A- Z :-*

Helloooo my lovelieeees ;) 
Aaaaas I have seen it on some of the amaaaaazing blogs I read, just like Izzy´s, Emmy´s, or Olivia´s,  I decided to post this bog challenge on my Nuuuuuutellarellaaaaaaaa Page, too ;) 
Hope you enjoy it ;) the answers sometimes maybe can get a bit weird I think because I am such a chatterboooox ;) <3

 A Attached or single? 
At the mooooment I would describe myself as siiiiiiingle ;) but I am of the opinion, that this can easily change very very fast, if you feel careless and open for everything and everybody ;) 

B Best friend? 
Hahaaa oh yeees the good old question about such so called best friends... :) I can definitively say that I had a real one along for about 7 years of school ;) but as I have already written in some previous post, this special friendship went down at our first year at uni together, mostly because of my illness and my behaviors ;) at first this cut really hurted me so much, but now I  am so convinced of the fact that it was absolutely needed to gain so much self confidence ;) So to answer this question honestly, momentaneously I don´t have  special friend like this, but therefore I noticed how many other important and caring people I have in my liiiiiiiiife :)

C Cake or pie?
Oh this is easy ;) definitively I prefer cakes ;) No, actually here in Germany simply cakes are so much more common than pies and I think this is one of the main reasons I more often get it and we also nearly only bake cake ;) of course an apple pie especially from Mr. Kipling is soooooolike food heaven *_*

D Day of Choice? 
This for sure is Friday, because the weekend lies in front of you and especially after doing your job or studies on this one, it feels sooososo good ;) you get such a feeling of freedom and fun ;) 

E Essential Item? 
OOOOOOOf course my mobile phone ;) without all my pics, contacts, and everything on it I would be so lost in my every day life ;) luckily I only lost it once and not more often ;)

F Favourite color? 
pink, black, apricot,....;)

G Gummy bears or worms? 
We mostly are used to have Gummy bears at hoooome, worms not so often ;) aaand I also love Lach-Gummi and Yoghurt Gums ;) 

H Hometown? 
A little village in Southern Germany in Bavaria, near Augsburg ;) 
I Indulgence? 
Puuuuh what does this word mean? =) hihiiii sorry for my bad english :D Aaaaah it means "Genuss", kind of pleasure ;)) 
Soooo an enjoyment for me always is driving my car :) or being on holiday with our mobile home or simply being on the way or traveling ;) I love to see new places and not being stressed at the same time ;)

J January or July? 
Definitively July (even though I enjoyed winter much more =)) nowadays I am such a summer girl ;) I enjoy lying in the sun and feeling the atmosphere of a sunny day ;) it always pushes my mood so much, because in winter it often is so foggy and dark in Germany and I hate this ;) makes me feel sad and so in summer the light is so much brighter and helps me staying happy ;) 
Also in July I often go on holidays and this is one of my fav things to dooo as you maybe already noticed hihii :)

K Kids? 
Äääh not at the moment, but later on I don´t really have any plans according to this :) I think it depends on how my life will continue and I´ll seeeeee :)

L Life is not complete without...? 
Friends, Family, Smiling, Coffee, Happy Days, Traveling...

M Memory you cherish? 
Ooooh there are so many of them which I never ever in my life will forget *_* one of the most wonderful memories I have was my holiday with my family to the west coast of the USA in 2013;) such an amaaaaazing, breathtaking trip which I would immediately do again ;) also I remember so many wonderful holidays in our mobile home to places like Ireland, GB, Sweden, Italy, France, Norway,.... Also my abi trip to Greece was amaziiiing and the trip to Ibiza with my friends in the same year ;) Also I cherish so many childhood memories like sleigh riding in winter, swimming in the Freibad in summer, .....All of these mean so much to me ;) 

N Number of brothers and sisters? 
I have a younger sister, she is 18 now ;) 
O Oranges or apples? 
Puuuh hard question, because I like both, but a few years I was allergic to apples so I enjoyed them afterwards more and I also think I rather prefer them in general ;)

P Pet peeves? 
Soorry guys, I absolutely don´t understand what this means??? :( 

Q Quote? 
Every day is a new beginning. Take a deep breath and start again!

R Reasons to smile? 
I have so many things which I can be thankful for and which always make me smile ;) to be honest, one of the main reasons to smile is being alive every single day: again and again ;) simply this is a reason itself for smiling, don´t you think? ;) 
Then there are so many other reasons why I smile:getting told something funny, going out with friends, having a nice talk, ..... ;) sooo many different things and most of all the reasons which make me smile is that I have so many loving people around my who honestly care and this makes me feel so happy :)

S Season of choice? In my opinion every season is nice and I always look for the different one, if we have one ;) so in winter there comes a point when I wish for summer and the other way round, too ;) but autumn isn´t the most likely to me, but I love spring and summer the most I think ;) 

T tea or coffee? Coffeeeeeeee!! ;) I am definitively coffee addicted I think, ooooops ;)

U Unknown fact about me? 
Puuuh hard one... I am such a hobbledehoy (googled this word and it means, I am making such funny mistakes time by time about which other think I am crazy ;)) hihiii ;) no what I mean is that it happens that I do such funny things without really being aware of them ;) I also love doing jokes about myself ;) 

V Vegetable? 
I absolutely looooove veggies ;) like tomatoes are my favorites, but also all kind of cabbage, gherkins, carrots, zucchini, champignons, onions,......

W Worst habit? 
Being too late and not getting it managed to be ready at a set point =) 
Hahaaaa and of course being addicted to NUTELLA 

X X-ray or ultra-sound? 
No idea what those could mean ;) soooryy :D

Y Your favourite trip? 
Ireland, West Coast of USA, Portugal, Scotland, Wales, England, Sweden, Norway, France, Italy, Greece, Ibiza, Croatia, Sardegna,... soo many :)

Z Zodiac Sign? Sorry I as well don´t know what this means :)

Hooooooooope you guys will like it ;) I am just trying this out now for the first time and maybe more will foolllooooow ;) what do you think? =) 
Have a lovely week ;) 
xxx