I neeeeed your help a little bit ;) Tooooday I was the whole day in university and I absolutely enjoyed it, because I felt just like a very very normal girl, who is not the ill one only :( and that made my feel happy :)
But in the morning I had soooo much stress, there was a huuuuge traffic jam and I nearly came too late to my Spanish class which would have meant I had to get kicked out of it :( and here I went: it rained like it would never stop and I was so late that I as fast as possible had to search for one of the rare parking spaces.... And then I touched just a little bit another car with mine and I stood there in the rain... :( Luckily nothing happened and I was just then starting to run to my spanish class and finally reached it in time! Omg, I was so blessed ;)
Soooo now to the help of you, I today then honestly for the quite first time realized that my body burns more calories when I am stressed and that for gaining weight I have to eat more ! :) So this afternoon I was home alone then and had no one to talk to about my afternoon snack (my mum was at the hairdresser and my dad had so much work at his job:(), so I actually wanted to simply talk to you guuuuys, simply wanted some motivation, but then I luckily was able to talk to my dad about it :) so I forgot to post this one blog entry :( hahaaaa but I can tell you, it went well and I managed to eat my cookies :) OMG I am such a cookie addict again now :D
And now for dinner I had some bread with cheese salad and yaaaamm :) feel really tired now today, but I hope you guys had a lovely day and an adventurous weekend to come ;)
Yes, eat more! You need food! Wow, you got lucky, good for you, that you didn't get kicked out.
ReplyDeleteYou will get through this and it will get easier! I believe in you! And no matter how bad it gets staying strong will help you and you will be free of ED!! You can do this!!
A blog is a great way to express your feelings. But talking to someone is very helpful too :)
If you ever want to just talk you can email me. Just let me know :)
Olivia
Aaaaw you are just tooooooo sweet :) An absolutely amazing person! :) Comments like this one help me so much staying motivated and never stop eating any day of my life again ;) you are so right, food is fuel for your body and everybody needs it, especially in situations with stress :) Thanks so much for believing in me :) it feels great to know someone cares and I would have the chance to talk to :) I definitively would love to take on your offer, that is so cute of you ;) Thaanks :)
Deletexxx Ange
Awww, thank you!! :) I'm glad I can help in some way.
DeleteHeres my email (it's pretty long): howboutmechickadee@gmail.com
You can email me whenever :) don't be shy :)
Olivia
Wooooow, thank you so much =) means a lot to me ;) to get such a sweet offer:) sooo thank you, and of course (and I would be glad ;)) if you need someone to talk to or simply chat, email me or stay on my blog ;) would be very niiiiice ;)
Deletexxx Ange
Hi, Ange! :) my name is Emily, I started following you today, i read your story on izzys blog and it really touched my heart. im really glad that you are fighting so hard against your ed. your blog looks so good, i cant wait to read the rest of it :) and i absolutely adore the name too, and i feel like i can relate to it too, as one of my fear foods was peanut butter, when i was sick. but now? i literally can't start the day without having a bowl of cereal and a thick slice of wholemeal toast slathered with peanut butter! ;)
ReplyDeletei understand exactly how you feel, needing to talk to someone. i get this all the time too...but unfortunately, i often feel too afraid or embarrassed to talk about my ed with other people :( im afraid of what they will think of me, or that they might not be able to understand how i feel. this is why i blog too - its a way of getting my feelings out. i find reading other peoples stories and blogs like yours really helpful and inspiring. so keep blogging ange, you are doing an amazing job :)
definitely, eat more food when you are stressed. stress does burn more energy! and don't you often find food is a great source of comfort too? i find whenever im stressed the ultimate antidote has to be a big steaming mug of hot chocolate and a few biccies alongside, or a bar of chocolate melted in the microwave, or a piece of toast (with peanut butter!!! ) , stuff like that.
and yes i absolutely loveeee cookies too, i have some nice recipes for some if you ever want to check them out on my blog! here is the link: http://ganache-elf.blogspot.ie/ .
i hope you are having a lovely weekend too.
Emily :) x
Haiiii Emily :) That is sooooo sweet and nice of you, I am so unbelievably lucky about every single follower who reads my blog ;) gives me so much power and motivation to never give up this fight against such a stupid and tough illness ;) sooo thaaank you so much =) you sound so lovely :) makes me feel very happy ;)
DeleteOmg honestly? =) toast with Peanut butter? =) Wow, thats really cool, I actually haven´t really tried PB yet on bread, but noooooow I swear I will do it, too :D and breakfast with toast is so delicious, isn´t it? :)
Oh yeees I absolutely understand you 100%, because I often also feel uncomfortable when it comes to the situation that I notice that other feel pity for me for being too skinny I think... :( and then I as well feel bad talking about it openly or when it comes to the case that we eat together and I hardly can´t concentrate on a normal conversation :( riiiiiiight, buuut if you´re feeling uncomfortable try to say to yourself: I am strong and I am in MY recovery and on MY way to a healthy weight, one day I can show you how strong I am when I´ve got my ass and my body back =) this is going to be an amazing feeling I think and weeeeeeee together have to work on that together ;) because you guys help me so much and I love to hear you own a blog as well :) this is so cool ;) like you said people like you and Izzy are such a great support and unbelievably helpful =)
AAAAAAAbsolutely :) you are so right, I love eating, I know this sounds strange from someone who is anorectic, but I always enjoy everything I eat so much and sooooo thaaaaaaaanks so much for the ideas ;) they all sound delicious :) how do you prepare your hot chic? =) with real chocolate? :)
Hahaaaaaa thank you so much for the recipe, sounds deliiiiiicious and I am definitively going to check out your blog nooow =) really excited =)
OOh and you are from Ireland right? =) amaaaazing, it nearly is my most favorite country in the world, I´ve been there nearly 13 times :) reaaaaaallycool I think you live there! :)
Wish you a greeeeeat week and keep on fighting, you are so nice :)
Ange xxx
Hi Ange :)
Deleteaww YOU are just so nice Ange, the things you say are really lovely <3 i love your unique writing style - it is so personal and the positivity is infectious. every single post i have read so far has brought a great big smile to my face! I absolutely adore your bblog andI really admire you too as both a blogger and a person - you are talented, strong and really brave too!
I know, peanut butter is amazing - i eat it every day now, and i find it so strange to think that at one time I never, ever did! and also it's high in protein too :) and yes, i am totally with you about toast...i adoreeee toast. it is one of those foods which i genuinally love and which helped me to fall in love with food again!
thank you so much for the advice - it is so heartfelt and meaningful! and it makes me feel so much better about myself too :)
heehee no, my mam is the best hot choc maker ever, and she always makes it just using normal tesco hot choc powder, and a few teaspoons of sugar ;) there is a post dedictaed to hot choc on my blog ange, along with toast, hot choc has to be one of my favourtie EVER things ;)
i do live in ireland ange! what part(s) were you in?
have a lovely week too :) i cant wait to read more of your amazing, inspirational blog. people like you make this battle just so much more easier, and remind me that im never ever alone.:)
Emily xxx
Hi Emily :) Wow, wow and agaiiiiiiiiiiin wow *_* thank you soooooooooooo much for such a sweet, honest and wonderful feedback ;) you can´t believe how happy it makes me reading something like your comments =) Thaaaaanks again ;) I absolutely can give ALL the compliments back to you, too, because I think it is ssoo stunning how you invent your time in sending hope out to other people like me or on your nice blog ;) really fascinating :)
DeleteGreeeeeeeeeat, go on like that, you are on the right way! =) I absolutely can relate to those feelings, it feels kinda weird, that I was able to restrict eating Nutella for such a long time, just because I wash´t feeling worth eating it or I was afraid to immediately gain weight by only letting it touch my lips :( quite hard to imagine right? :( Oh yeees I am so crazy for toast now, too :) love it every day again ;)
Hahaaaa sounds so yuuuuuummi, I am now getting some great crave for it :) Absolutely have to try that out ;) buuut I need to buy some powder for it at first =) I tell you afterwards how it waaas ;)I think it is going to be delicious *_*
Awww, that is so cool, hahaaa I think I probably have been nearly at the whole island, but the most time I spent at my relatives in the west, in County Sligo =) you know it? =) so where are you from? =)
AAAAAAAAw this is so sweet ;) thanks again so much, people like you keep me going ;) just too nice of you ;)
xxx Ange
Hi Ange! :) aww do let me know your hot choc making goes ;) and try adding maltesers, marshamllows and white chocolate buttons on top, it is sooooo good <3
Deletei ADORE county sligo, it is just so so pretty, i was there on holidays once ;) i live in laois ange, its at the centre of ireland in the midlands?:)
you are so welcome, i do mean it though, you and your blog are truly special <3
Emmy xxxxxx
Hahaaaa I tried it, and I must honestly admit it was amaziiiing ;) i noticed, that I haven´t tried it for aaaaaages actually :) and afterwards I really felt kind of proud for trying it :) great feeling ;)
ReplyDeleteOh yeeees, it is so nice there, I absolutely love spending time there, there is such a wonderful atmosphere and I simply adore it :)
Oh wow, I googled where it is, but I´m sorry, I have never been there, because it is really in the middle of the island and most of the time I´ve spent in Ireland I visited the coastal sides ;) but I am sure, it also looks stunning there :) what I actually wanted to ask you, what are you doing, I mean, do you have a job or do some studies? :)
Simply interested ;) hope it´s okay for you ;)
Thaaaaaaaaanks again for the sweeeeet compliment, feels so nice for me :)
Ange xxx
aww yay! :) aww I'm so so glad you enjoyed it Ange :) i tried two new things this week too.. firstly i went for my first ever buerrito with my friend :o I know that a few months ago, the very idea of eating one of those would have filled me with dread! But on this occasion I was so determined to get one and enjoy it..and I did, it was delicious. :)
Deleteand then today i had my first ever..bagel!! haha I know it sounds funny, but I never used to eat those either. :o i had it as my snack today, with peanut butter...yummy :)
Oh don't apologise hun not many people go to Laois for holidays. I'm in my third year of college Ange. I'm studying English and I'm afraid I don't like it very much :( i find it very hard. Espiecally with the ed and everything. Over the past two years with my ed i found it very hard to focus and do work as i was always starving and couldnt concentrate. :( this week after the doctors trip and my setback, im really struggling too..i just cant seem to do work when im stressed :(
how about you Ange, what are you studying? do you like it? :)
Haha yees, it absolutely was so worth trying it ;) enjoyed it very much, so thaaanks :) I also started to read your blog and I think it is written so lovely and you post very cool things ;) I as well as you do love baking so, it is really nice to read ;) you are doing a great job! :)
ReplyDeleteWoooooooooow *-* Congraaaaaaaaaats to you :) this is amazing ;) being able to eat something that always scared you before is such a big step in recovery, so you haaaaave to be very very proud of you =) I feel so lucky for you and I am sure you will be able to manage soo much! ;) Always believe in you, you are such a nice person, that really is worth getting fully recovered! ;)
Oh but it is surely soooo pretty there as well, because I think Ireland is a country which is beautiful everywhere you go, so I am sure I would love it there :)
Oh English sounds really cool, and I know it´s hard to believe, but I also thought about it for myself, too :)but then I decided to study what I nearly always wanted to do: primary school teacher :) and yeeeah I actually like the job very very much, but I am also struggling a bit with the whole stress it gave me relating to my ED....But it is sad to hear that it does´t match you so much :( and I can relate very well to you, because in this summer I was also struggling so much with my tests and the whole courses, because of my ED I wash´t able to hold the line and concentrate... :( this is so annoying isn´t it? I hate this lack of concentrations and that I didm´t do better in those tests then.. :( Oh Emmy, please please stay strong, I know you can and I know these episodes with all the stress you have to deal with, but remember to become a normal girl again you have to EAT and fuel your body with the right products :) I know you can ;) let´s win this fight together :) WE BOTH COME OVER IT;)
xxx
:) HI Ange :) <3 x
ReplyDeleteaww hun thanks so much it really makes me happy when people like my blog! :) I love to blog, My Cocoa Stained Apron has become such a big part of my life now!:) the only thing is...I sometimes feel sad and disappointed because hardly anyone reads it...but still, I don't let this affect me too much. I think the most important thing is that you enjoy writing the blog, and that it means something to you..for me my bblog is a way of recording what i went through and how far ive come, as well as reminding me i still need to do more.. (as well as acting as a sort of baking diary. ;)
aww thanks so much for the encouragement Ange <3 it is so so hard to go through recovering from an ed while trying to study at university too, espiecally in one like mine its very competetive and i dont feel like i fit in at all :( I have been told perhaps it would be a good idea to take a year out, to recover...but I don't know, I'm not sure whether my case is that serious.. I just don't know. :( But at least I have the support of such wonderful people like you and Izzy Ange <3 xxxxxxxx
Heiiiiiiiiii ;) :-*
ReplyDeleteoh yeees I completely understand your way of thinking, I like blogging, too :) it is like writing down what covers your thoughts and getting motivation by people such as you are makes it sooo worth doing it :) Ohh don´t get down by thoughts like that, I mean there are surely many people reading your blog, I really really enjoy reading it, gives me inspiration and new ideas =) and you have a really nice style of writing :) I absolutely will keep on following it :) hahaa I love the thought of writing a baking diary, too :) sounds funny :)
Oh yes I absolutely understand what you mean, because I also was thinking about taking some time out, but now I decided to stay strong and just don´t take too many lessons :) because I do NEVER ever want to loose any weight again =) an also took this way of decision, because I love what I am doing at university, it shows me that I CAN be a normal girl, who has a daily routine and a job to do ;) sooo I don´t actually know if this might help you, but if you decide you can´t manage eating there or you have too much stress due to the studies, then you should do the best thing for you :) follow your instinct and ask yourself whether your ED is in any way related with university and you do a better job by taking some time out :) Take it, if you need it, I just want you to be healthy again and I am sure you are making the right decision for you :)
Thank you so much, and I absolutely have to say, you, by commenting on my blog give me so much motivation, can´t believe it :)
xxx Have a wonderful Saturday :)
<3 aww Ange you are just so sweet <3 and I really admire you for being so strong. Good for you, I think that is so brave! Your positive attitude is just wonderful <3 And I love to comment on your blog! I think the things you have to say are really interesting and thought-provoking. And thank you for the lovely compliments too hun <3 it's so nice I think that I have got to know you through your blog, and I am so glad I did, because you are just so nice and kind and a true inspiration! <3 And I am so glad I give you motivation too hun! Because I know how important it is in recovery to stay motivated, every single hour of every single day! Aww you too Ange thank you hun <3 xxx
DeleteOmg*__* thaaaaaank you so much Emmy <3 your comment really made my day!!! :) such sweet and unbelievably nice woords :) wow ;) I am absolutely overwhelmed, because I would never have imagined to get such a positive Feedback on my blog :) :) and getting to hear that makes me feel so amazing, so I am also sooo glad we got in coontact by that way :) you seem to be at quiiite the same Point of recovery as I am and I think we really can help each other very much, by just sharing our thoughts :)
DeleteAaaaaaaaabsoluutely right, I also think this is the most important Point: staying motivated and giving others hoope, too :) sooo keep it uup Irish Girl :) let´s get recovered! :)
Wish you a wonderful week :) <3
xxx
:) your blog deserves positive feedback Ange as it really is amazing and truly inspirational.
DeleteYes, I think so too Ange, we are at the same stage I think! And it is so helpful to have someone else to relate to. I am sure you might have felt like this too - sometimes it is hard to talk to non-ED people about the eating disorder, as for some people it is hard to understand why a person consciously didn't eat.
Aww thank you for the motivation hun <3 and have a lovely weektoo. Heehee it's funny how this comment thread is now so long!! I may go and comment on another one of your wonderful posts soon!
Love Emmy xxxxxxx
(so sorry about my deleted comment below Ange, I posted it and then realised the amount of spelling mistakes in it was atrocious :( have a good day hun <3 xxx
DeleteAwww thank you Emmy :) absolutely no problem with the deleted comment, I simply put it away, then nobody will notice it =)
DeleteOh yeeees, I aaaaabsolutely see it in the same way as you do ;) at the beginning of my ED I hardly was able to talk to anybody about it, buuut since I chose recovery I am proud of what I am doing and I openly can talk about my feelings :) and it absolutely works best with people like you :)
Hahaaaaaaa yes you are so right ;) but I loooooove getting some feedback and chatting to you all :-* because you are all soooooo sweet and motivate me so muuuuch :) Oh suuuupi, I am looking forward to your next comment :) xxx
Sorry about that hun! :o aww thank you so much Ange <3 I am always here for you if you want to talk!
DeleteOoh, I do have one question Ange which I am very curious about! Your English is like sooooo amazing....when did you start learning it? Do you find it hard? Have you ever been to England?:)
yes I left another comment on your AWESOME post from yesterday hun!! <3 xxxxxxxxxxxx
No proooblem ;) Thank you so much too, what a very special offer :) makes me soo happy, you can absolutely believe me!!!! :)
DeleteOh wooooow, thaaaaaaaaaaaaank you ;) this compliment is so sweet of you, and gives me some feeling of being proud ;) wow :) aaaahm according to my English, I must say, I simply love the language and I am in general very very interested in GB and the USA, so I love speaking and writing in it :) I started when I got in my 5th degree, so I am probably doing it since I am 12 years or so :) at some times I find it hard yes, but I honestly have to work harder for such languages as spanish or french, I think they are more difficult :)
Oh yeeees, I love England and Scotland and Wales, too :) I have been there several times and love spending my time there, because it is such a sweet country and all the people are so nice :)
Hahaaa yeeeeees, I gooooot it and already commented on it :) really sweeeeet words you always use :) thanks :)
xxx