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Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Soooooo I finally arrived in beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeautiful Lisbon today :) 
I can absolutely tell you: what an amazing city ;) really lovely *_*I had so much fun today and gained a lot of new impressions! 
We made a tour with an old sort of cable car through the historic city center and went shopping =) so I just bought a new winter jacket which I honestly looove :) 

Oh but today was one of the days I again had the feeling everyone was starring at me, because I still look so skinny (even though I already gained weight, I still seem to appear a little bit unused to a lot of people) :( I hate that feeling, when you know everyone glances at you, and I don´t know if you are used to that impression, but it absolutely isn´t a very nice feeling :(  Hopefully by gaining more weight this will get better as well :) 
But what I honestly want to add is, that today I feel so much different towards food, I mean, I have the feeling of in some strange way letting go of that voice in my head ... :) Feels someway unreal now to choose what I´d like to eat, instead of always thinking about what I am not allowed to give to myself ;)
I hope it will stay this way, maybe it is because of the beautiful warm weather here in the South or this relaxed lifestyle of these people here or my mum who actually (next to my dad) is the only one who always believed in me in my worst situations and still does :) 

Sooo I hope you are as well having a good time, and maybe (I would actually be so happy) you would like to share with me where you guys are all coming from:)
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT THAT A LITTLE BIT MORE ;) because you know I am type of a curious girl all the time ;) So feel free to share your origins with meeeee ;) 
Sending greetings to you all over the world :)
xxx Ange

12 comments:

  1. That's so great you got to go to Lisbon! I'm so happy for you :)
    I'm half American, half Russian. I was born in CA and lived in SF, Sacramento, New Heaven and other places too. Can't remember all of them since I was so little. But when I was maybe 3-5 my family moved to Russia. But now we just moved back to the US. I speak both Russian and English fluently and feel very lucky to be a part of both cultures and to know both languages :)
    Btw I was in Germany last year and I loved it! I was in Berlin, Munich and Frieburg. And usually I hear people saying they don't like the language but I absolutely love the sound of German! I wish I knew this language as also I have a German friend. And I could also speak German with you! :D
    Olivia

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  2. Aaaaaaaaw that sounds amazing ;) You sound like a very very versatile and cute person ;) Really stunning at which places you already lived and I must absolutely confess I like both cultures as well, because I looove English very much and Russian sounds extremely interesting :)Ohh and I love the USA, I´ve been there once last year and it is soooo stunning and unbelievable ;)
    Wooow, that´s extremely cool, you liked it? That sounds great! How do you mean that? Do you know a little bit of german or would you like to know it? :) Sorry I didn´t understand that completely ;) Hahaaa but I would enjoy it to teach it to you =)
    Hope you are having a great week ;)
    xxx Ange

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    1. Thank you so much! You're just too sweet :) :)
      Oh sorry, ahaha, one of my family members was into Germany so started learning a bit of German. My family was actually thinking of moving to Germany rather than the US, because our family is more European like and the European lifestyle is more appealing to us. Of course I love the US too but Europe is more my place :) (I can talk about this subject forever, so it's better to not even get me started, hahaha!) But since none of us (including me) know the language it would've been extremely hard, unfortunately. If I had to pick a language to learn it would probably be German. But it would probably be hard to fit learning another language inti my everyday life. Someday maybe :)
      I know just a few words and phrases in German. I never really studied this language. Oooh! That sound tempting ;) thank you! maybe in a few months/years I'll take you up on that offer, ahaha!
      I just want to say you seem like such a wonderful and nice person. I enjoy your blog a LOT! Stay strong and don't give up! :)
      Olivia

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    2. Nooo I love your comments, they always make me smile and I enjoy reading them on Izzys blog always, too ;) really make me grin ;)
      Oh hahaa really? =) you were thinking about that? Wow, that would have been so cool, but I can also imagine it very difficult, too =) like you said it is not easy to simply learn a new language incidentally ;)
      Hahaaa no I love this topic too, because there are so much differences and I love to try them out =) just like what people eat, plan their day or simply behave towards others ;) really cool I think, or what do you like most about the european people? ;)
      Hihiii, yes of course, I would be glad to help you learning this one ;) and I also think russian sounds quite interesting, buuuut very difficult right? ;) do you speak that properly? ;)
      And now as a response to you: ich finde es Wahnsinn wie gut du andere Menschen motivieren kannst an ihre Ziele zu glauben :) Haha if you don´t understand it, I´ll tell you in my next post ;) but keep it up, you are so nice and I am very happy to hear that you like and read my blog ;) Thaaaaaank you :)
      xxx Ange

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    3. Ahaha! Thank you! :)
      The European lifestyle is nicer to me. There are people walking down the streets not just cars. I sometimes feel out of place when walking down the street with so many cars around me. Like I don't belong on the sidewalk (but this is just some places in the U.S.) The cities have history. You can get somewhere fast and sometimes even walk because everything is closer etc.
      Ahh, no I don't understand, sorry... Just a couple of words. I know much less than you think, ahaha!
      Olivia

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    4. Hehee yes I absolutely love how honest and nice you write, with always making other people gain hope and make them smile :) and I have to say I enjoy it very much to read about how you, or a person in general from the US, thinks about our lifestyle here in Europe ;) funny how you see it, because I think in some way you seem so right, the USA appear so large and endless whereas in Europe you always have the feeling all big cities are closer to each other, right? =) but it was such an amazing feeling for example seeing this wideness of the US, too =) I looooove going shopping in both countries I think, you too? ;)
      Hahaaa no problem, like I said, I will help yooooou :D the sentence meant something like (I try my best to translate it, but I am not sure if it is right :)) :
      I think it is amazing what a great job you are doing in motivating other people or making them believe in their dreams ;)
      xxx Ange

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  3. Hi ange, i'm from Malaysia. Maybe you are not aware of my country but if you Google about missing aeroplanes than I think you would know about it ( we are really saddened about those flights) anyway, I think you are such a bright girl!! You look sooo happy in your writing ( a lot of smiley I can tell). If you are curious about your readers, then so do I. Can you tell me where are you studying now, what major do you take etc etc. Would love to hear your feedback. Glad you are well now!
    (do you find my English is funny? Just tell me the truth! Really need to improve my English)

    Love,
    H

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    1. Haiii ;) Hahaaa you sound very cuuute and funny :) what a nice comment :) and wow you really are from Malaysia? ;) It is unbelievably to me that someone from sooo far away reads MY blog :) your comment gives me so much motivation to go on, so thaaaank you so much :) hahaaa the statement with the smilies I´ve already been told at chatting with my friends :) I simply love to show how glad I am to write with peoplee like you all are ;)
      Oh that sounds so sweet ;) yeeees of course I will answer you these questions, I want to be open and honest to all of you :)
      Soooo I am studying in Augsburg, not sure if it says anything to you, I think rather not, because you live so far away, but it is in Bavaria in the South of Germany :) Aaaand my goal is to become a primary school teacher :) but at the moment I am not 100 % sure if it is going to be the right thing for me, but I will keep it up, I am now in the third term :) soooo how about you? ;) would you share some infos with me too? =) what do you practice and what age are you? =)
      Hahaa no your english is not bad at all, I understand everything really good, because mine is not better at all ;)
      xxx Ange

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  4. Yes of course I'm from Malaysia. isn't it craaaazy ? We still can chat with each other although we are living from different part of the world. I am soo glad that you think my comment gives you motivation to go on. I think you will be a fab school teacher! you are so nicee and bright and i think the students will love you! Well Augsburg is awesome!! I like the shape of the building, so beautiful..I would like to share some infos about me. so...where should i start...I am a female of course haha. I am going to be 23 years old next year. I am currently studying at local university, taking bachelor of law (although I always wanted to be an English teacher, maybe I will take another course after I finish my law school). ohh and Nutella is one of my family's favourite chocolate :) Never miss to buy it every month haha.
    I hope we can stay in touch, it's nice to have a friend from Germany!

    Love,
    H

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  5. Whoooaaaaa yes, it is absolutely crazy ;) I can´t really believe it, that we can stay in contact, even we live in such different areas, with completely different lifestyles I think ;) but it is really really cool I think :)
    Aaaaaw, thank you so much, it is very cute of you to try to keep my motivation up, it honestly makes me happy :) and your comment is just so sweet, thank you =) hahaaa did you look at the homepage? =) that´s cool :D
    Oh wow, great of you to share some infos about you, too :) and I think your studies sound really great :) I can imagine you will be able to have a great job afterwards right? :) and where in Malaysia do you live, if you mind me asking you about that, too? :) and do you as well, suffer from anorexia or another ED? =(Hopefully not, but you sound so positive, so I think you manage everything as well ;)
    Hahaaa that´s great to hear, and it is so cool, that Nutella is also sold ALL over the world, isn´t it? :) but I must really state it is the best thing to start every day =)
    Yeees, I hope that as well. it is such a cool thing having contact to people all over the world, I love it :)
    Hope you are doing well ;)
    xxx Ange

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    1. Hi again Ange, I am excited to chat with you again :) Honestly, your reply has cheered me up :D Thank you for your nice comments. Well lots of people (maybe just in my country haha) think taking law school is good and wonderful, but for me I would put it as "distress" hahah. Hundreds of cases to remember.... Yeah I know I am such a crybaby but of course I will do my best about it :) and so do youuuu I guess :) I live in Pahang if you wanted to know, but I am currently out from that territory..Well I am not so sure that I have ED or not, but I do sometimes feel really regret and almost crying because I eat something..and I found myself fond to read pro ana blog lately.. which I know I shouldn't do that.. I keep telling my friends that I am fat which they keep telling me the other way round..what do you think? can you tell me the beginning of your involvement of your ED? how do you feel at first? but anyway, your blog and izzy's are very motivated to keep me away from those 'evil thoughts' haha. I think you should keep it up because you could save someone's life!! I hope there are more people like you :) How about you now? I mean how your life so far? how many siblings do you have? what are your hobbies? are you really fond of your studies? Omg so many questions hahah sorry about that but I cannot say that I am not curious about you!

      Have a nice day! Love, H

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  6. Heiii H :) that is so cute of you, soooo nice to hear I can cheer you up, because I think you sound like a person who is so worth becoming/staying healthy and recovered! :) Don´t ever give up on yourself and never let those negative thoughts in, like telling yourself you look fat or aren´t worth eating something you like :( Even if you feel like you are not allowed to treat yourself with something you are craving for, think about why not? :) I know this is the hardest part, and I am as well struggling with it, but always tell yourself WHY NOT? Why not eating this now? Simply eat it, because you want it now and you are worth the pleasure and the joy of eating something delicious:) And I also fully understand your bad feelings after eating, I mean for a very very long time I felt some strange sort of HATE for myself after every piece I ate and honestly every crumble I let into ;) but momentaneously I can only give you as an advice here, that you have to keep on trying some of your most feared foods and not stop eating them, because the more often you do it, it will get more "normal" and the hate and regret will automatically pass time by time :) hope this might help you ;) buuut please H, don´t ever again go on such pro ana blogs, they are horrible I think, and I am also of the opinion, that those people who write them are crazy and have no idea of what they are talking about, because I think having an ED is an illness, that can kill you and why would you long for something that is able to kill you? =) so please promise me to let it be :)
    Hahaaa no, I can relate to you in the way of your studies, I never was really good at remembering such laws, facts, and cases, but for a lot of people, and I think you too, it will be great to manage ;) I am sure you are doing a good job ;) aaaaaah I don´t actually know Pahang, but is it near the coast? =) or do you live in the city center or in the country? =)
    Aaaw, I think this is so sweeeeet of you wanting to get to know more about me ;) this and also what you write about my and Izzys blog makes me feel so great and I want to keep it/my blog up :)
    Sooooo about me: puuuh what to tell, I live in a very small village and have one younger sister who is 17 and everything in my life went quite normal until this year... :) I mean, I went to school and last year I finished my exams and went traveling a lot ;) I in general looooove visiting other countries (I´ve mostly been to Europe and last year in the US) :) especially to Great Britain and Italy I travelled often ;) also Sweden, Norway, Ireland, France, Austria, Portugal, Denmark, Greece, Ibiza, USA,... I am sorry to say I have never been to your country or anywhere around this area, but I would love visiting it one day ;) I also love meeting my friends, going to a party, chilling, chatting,... :) quite normal things :( My ED began with a diet I started and I remember me always becoming more radical in not eating carbs, proteins and fat :( so in march I was only eating vegetables and lied to all the people I love and pretended that everything would be oke :(but it absolutely wasn´t ... :( I always felt cold all the time, got tired of everything and could´t concentrate on anything else than food.. :( it was horrible..... :(but never give up, but I will post more about my story soon, too ;) hahaa you are so nice =) and what about you? ;) how is living in Malaysia like? Do you enjoy it? and how about your daily lifestyle? how do you spend your free time? =) Looing forward to hear more :)
    xxx Ange

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